To sample a little of Cretan life we decided to sign up for a Land Rover safari and roam a little more of this, the largest of the Greek islands and the 5th largest in Mediterranean.

It is always a risk doing the ‘tourist thing’, sometimes turning into nothing more than booze and poor quality local food, but this trip was fantastic. Brian was our driver, an Englishman who loved the island and Cretan way of life so much he upped sticks and moved here many moons ago. His knowledge of the island was both entertaining and interesting, far more so than his jokes.

The tour headed off towards the hills, quickly moving from Tarmac to off-road revealing some of the most spectacular views this volcanic rock has to offer. Rising up even further, past the 700m limit for olive tree survival, the air cleared and the temperatures lowered a few degrees. We were now in the territory of small towns, shepherds and market gardeners. The first real sign of cultivation was a multitude of brightly coloured boxes housing colonies of bees essential for the massive production of olive oil.

Rising even higher along narrow dusty tracks riddled with hairpin bends we saw many curious and beautiful sights but the one that captivated me the most was the occasional church in the middle of nowhere. The main religion here is Greek Orthodox, a strict and ritualistic form of Christianity. Each church is dedicated to a Saint and on that Saints day each of the locals who, at birth are allocated a Saint, celebrated the day as if it were their birthday.

Again rising further we were now amongst herds of goats, farmed for meat, and incredibly, small market gardens cultivating cabbages, courgettes and a range of other vegetables seemingly incompatible with this inhospitable landscape. Nearby each farm or plot was an artesian well supplying spring water. The spring water is filtered though limestone in the volcanic rock and the quality is such that even Coca Cola has a bottling plant here, laying just outside the tourist enclave of Malia.

Stopping off to take on board fluids at a local taverna, one of the drivers appeared with an aluminium flight case filled with various bones from hippopotamus to deer. These animals had somehow found there way to the island and became stranded. Through a condition know as insular dwarfism they had shrunk mainly due to a lack of food and, in the early seventies became one of the most important archeological finds for the Mediterranean region.

The next stop was lunch at another small taverna in another small town where the traditional Meze starters were served as the BBQ was stoked and the wine flowed freely. Very enjoyable and one of the best plates of tsatziki yet.

Zeus is probably the best known of the Olympic Gods and so on to the 200 rocky step climb to see the cave in which he was born, a must at €4. After all, if Zeus had not been hidden at birth, Kronos would have swallowed him instead of the stone and we would all be living in a world overrun by titans. And some of the rock formations were pretty spectacular too.

For the homeward run we took in some traditional crafts ranging from weaving on hand looms to pottery and took a moment to step inside one the little churches. Here it became apparent there was something wrong about the many depictions of the baby Jesus. As the church here believes Jesus is omniscient, even as a baby he has the face of an adult. Most curious.

Finally we made a pit stop at a little village that featured an ancient oak believed to be thousands of years old as it was blessed by Zeus. Nobody knows the true age as the tree is hollow. Across the road was a little gift shop, without which no tour would be complete. Before entering we were given a complementary glass of the local tipple, Raki, drunk as a shot with lick of honey taken from the back of your hand. Very nice although somewhat sticky in this heat.

On returning to room, a quick look out over the balcony I felt quite sorry for the all inclusive’s still sat on their sun loungers in an attempt to catch the last few rays before the sun disappeared behind the hotel. Still, each to his own.